July 14, 2009
Apparently, despite my carefully considered plan, I’m not ready to wean. One of my pro-weaning points haunted me. “If I weren’t pumping exclusively, I wouldn’t even be considering weaning. But I’m not.” My mind kept answering, “So what if I have to pump? She’s still getting something, isn’t she?”
I cried heart-brokenly for three days. After asking my husband through sobs Sunday night what he thought I should do (I only had a short window to rebuild my supply), he said, “Quit.” I went to bed after my last tiny pump and got some sleep. The next morning I woke to a 5 oz. pump (good for me!) and determined to keep going. My dh told me later he knew I would start again in defiance if he gave me the opposite answer. He really does know me.
For now, I’ll go two more months and follow a little less strenuous pumping schedule. If my baby needs to be held and it’s time to pump, I’ll hold her. It will be a more balanced approach.