Ah...How I enjoy this sweet little space where I get to chat with you - and hear back from you!! Mothering my little people has completely encompassed my time this past summer. My husband was out of town on several trips which took him away for weeks at a time and then he spent another week in the studio producing an album for a local artist. So, he was out of the loop for a while and I pulled double duty at home.
Consequently, the "take time for yourself" thing I always preach went out the window for a while. But, that's what partners do, isn't it? Support each other through the easy times and the more challenging ones. Thankfully, he's back full time and we're getting back into the crazy swing of the holiday season.
Last night, I spent a few hours in the kitchen. I wanted to cook something simple but nourishing, filling but easy on the stomach. I took the time to enjoy the perfect weight of a good knife in my hand while I sliced through lovely food that wanted to be eaten. I reveled in the fact that I have the ability, knowledge and desire to use beautiful fresh ingredients and make something that my family wants to eat. A lot of love and happy energy went into that meal. When I was finished, I sat and felt the delight of watching them appreciate the color and flavors in front of them.
Often, the day to day tasks involved in being a homemaker feel overwhelming. We do the same thing over and over - laundry, cleaning, cooking, dishes, negotiating conflicts, helping to pick up the perpetual mess on the floor and stressing about the grocery budget. Then, we wake up and start all over again.
This day to day sameness is the part of staying home with small ones that can really challenge a woman's confidence because it seems we never actually finish anything. I have to laugh at those who have made snide comments to me about how easy it is to just stay home all day. At least at work, I knew when I had done a good job or achieved success. There were letters of thanks from customers and monetary rewards.
At home, there are no "pat on the back" awards or financial bonuses for the endless hours of work. I have often felt the weight of this and frankly, felt discouraged by the "neverendingness" of it, despite my passionate love for my children and family. Since the time I chose to be home with my little people, phrases like, "A woman's work is never done" have really taken on new meaning for me. Now I know why my mom got up before 6 every day!
But part of that last paragraph is something I'm starting to cling to pretty tightly. I CHOSE (and choose!) to stay home. Sure, I could get a job that would contribute to our financial situation more significantly than vocal work, babysitting or storytelling. But, it would cut into something I consider far more important.
I stay home because I want to see all the "firsts" my girls experience. I want to laugh with them in the middle of the day and snuggle my baby to sleep for her nap. I want to be able to take the time to help each daughter figure out how to wisely navigate through her life choices, not rush her because I have to get to work. I want to be able to spend a few hours preparing a meal full of love and light - to nourish them and remind my whole family that life is supposed to taste good.
The truth is that - while there are no monetary rewards for this choice, the love and gratitude I see on the faces of my family reward me every day. My husband knows what I do, that this is a sacrifice of other parts of my life - and he loves me for it and encourages me to do the other things I love as well. The laughter of small people and the feel of their sweet arms around me lift my spirits when monotony of the everyday threatens to bury me.
Yes, I have made my choice and I am glad.
Showing posts with label Making a home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Making a home. Show all posts
October 21, 2010
April 23, 2010
Five for Friday
Five for Friday
1. "Hey mom, remember that ring you told me I couldn't have at the store last week?", she said. Then, my nearly four year old showed me a little plastic ring - which we'd not purchased.
"Uh-huuuh." Didn't see that one coming. We talked about how taking things that are not ours is wrong and how it negatively affects the person from whom we steal. Then, we got into the car, drove to the store (a small resale shop here in town) and talked to the owner. Thankfully, she's the mother of small children too - and was very gracious. My small one broke down a little but she returned the treasured ring and hopefully learned an important lesson.
2. After a few months of looking for the perfect table to fit in our small space, I FINALLY found one in our budget at a second hand store. It's high quality - solidly built, the style I wanted and has cool built in extensions. I love finding the perfect deal, at the right price! Here's the table.
3. I received a special shipment from one of my favorite companies this week, Mountain Rose Herbs. After doing a little research on different lotions and all the yucky chemicals that are in most of them, I looked for natural alternatives. Unfortunately, a lot of those are pretty expensive or they aren't as natural as they claim. So, I started making my own. It's cost effective, really easy and takes about 15 minutes, less than a trip to the store. I enjoy it so much that I do it for fun now. I bought some tea to drink while I'm at it.
4. My girls and I have been growing a little garden in large pots and in the flowerbeds on our small patio and it's doing great. So far, we have carrots, spearmint, peppermint, chard, spinach, catnip (great for teething babies!), lavender, aloe vera, St. John's Wort, garlic, moon and stars watermelon (heirloom), summer squash and tomatoes. The girls are learning about the importance of taking care of the earth that feeds them and they're actually eating their greens - since they grew them. Pretty cool. We'll see how our garden does in the summer when things get hot.
5. We're clearing more "stuff" out of our house. Our small space is so easily overrun by the things we accumulate - even when we are careful. It's so easy to hold on to stuff - "just in case" we need it someday. My husband and I have made a commitment to keep selling and giving away unused things that someone else might truly need. In the process, we're retooling our definition of need. Having an uncluttered space and less things to care for gives us more time for what we really value - making connections with people. I'm frequently inspired to live more simply by another blogger named Sara Janssen. If you haven't seen her blog, check it out. She is an amazing woman!
That's all for today. Hope you are having a wonderful earth week!
1. "Hey mom, remember that ring you told me I couldn't have at the store last week?", she said. Then, my nearly four year old showed me a little plastic ring - which we'd not purchased.
"Uh-huuuh." Didn't see that one coming. We talked about how taking things that are not ours is wrong and how it negatively affects the person from whom we steal. Then, we got into the car, drove to the store (a small resale shop here in town) and talked to the owner. Thankfully, she's the mother of small children too - and was very gracious. My small one broke down a little but she returned the treasured ring and hopefully learned an important lesson.
2. After a few months of looking for the perfect table to fit in our small space, I FINALLY found one in our budget at a second hand store. It's high quality - solidly built, the style I wanted and has cool built in extensions. I love finding the perfect deal, at the right price! Here's the table.
3. I received a special shipment from one of my favorite companies this week, Mountain Rose Herbs. After doing a little research on different lotions and all the yucky chemicals that are in most of them, I looked for natural alternatives. Unfortunately, a lot of those are pretty expensive or they aren't as natural as they claim. So, I started making my own. It's cost effective, really easy and takes about 15 minutes, less than a trip to the store. I enjoy it so much that I do it for fun now. I bought some tea to drink while I'm at it.
4. My girls and I have been growing a little garden in large pots and in the flowerbeds on our small patio and it's doing great. So far, we have carrots, spearmint, peppermint, chard, spinach, catnip (great for teething babies!), lavender, aloe vera, St. John's Wort, garlic, moon and stars watermelon (heirloom), summer squash and tomatoes. The girls are learning about the importance of taking care of the earth that feeds them and they're actually eating their greens - since they grew them. Pretty cool. We'll see how our garden does in the summer when things get hot.
5. We're clearing more "stuff" out of our house. Our small space is so easily overrun by the things we accumulate - even when we are careful. It's so easy to hold on to stuff - "just in case" we need it someday. My husband and I have made a commitment to keep selling and giving away unused things that someone else might truly need. In the process, we're retooling our definition of need. Having an uncluttered space and less things to care for gives us more time for what we really value - making connections with people. I'm frequently inspired to live more simply by another blogger named Sara Janssen. If you haven't seen her blog, check it out. She is an amazing woman!
That's all for today. Hope you are having a wonderful earth week!
January 11, 2010
How love changes us...
As you know, it's not my strongest gift to maintain the most organized house with small people running around. I should probably say that pre-kids and pre-husband, when I had my own apartment and worked a strenuous job, I needed a very strict schedule and clean space to maintain my sanity. I went to bed by 10 pm, rose at 4:30 am every morning to hike and was at work by 6:30 am. It worked for me and I liked the rigidity of my schedule.
But one day, my life changed. I fell in love. And, as my mother predicted (though I insisted she wouldn't be right), I fell in love with a musician. Not just any musician. A genius musician who read theory books because he liked them (weird, right?) and was always in a rock band. Of course, rock bands don't often finish playing before 10 pm. So, my schedule fell on it's head and it's never been the same since. Well, I wasn't satisfied just dating this guy, I had to go marry him, leave my job in aviation technology to pursue other things I loved - like music.
Funny things about musicians. Not only do they work late, they work often. It's the only way to do what they love and still manage to eat! As the years pass, I've embraced the reality that as musicians, we'll never have schedules quite like the rest of our friends and family. That's ok with us because we're doing what we love. But, I am also learning that within our own crazy schedule, we need to find a routine that works for us.
So, this week I made a small resolution. I'm going to go back to a more regular schedule - for my own sanity. For starters, it's going to include an earlier bedtime and an earlier morning, preferably before Destructo Girl (as we affectionately call our youngest) wakes. Hopefully, this will allow me to get into a routine that will help me to 1. Keep my house more organized, 2. Schedule more time to play with my kids (my biggest priority) and 3. Be more cheerful in general for my family and that musician guy I still lovely - madly.
I'll let you know how it goes...
December 8, 2009
The Undomestic Diva - Unstuffed!
After spending a few discouraging days tripping over toys, trying to reorganize the small kitchen space and doing innumerable loads of laundry I knew we needed to make a change. After a particularly hard day in which I couldn’t seem to keep anything off the floor for more than five minutes, I practically jumped my husband when he came in the door, “That’s it! I’m done with all this JUNK in our house! We need to get rid of it!!!” He looked at me, laughed and said, “I completely agree, Babe. When do you want to start?” What a guy!
We spent the next few weeks going through closets, drawers, counters and toy boxes weeding out “stuff”. Our criteria? “If we aren’t using it and someone else can, it’s gone.” We compiled 4 large storage bins of clothes, toys, "fall decor", unused gift bags etc, held a carport sale and donated any remaining items to a local charity.
The result of this process was another revelation. While before, we were careful about how we spent our money because our resources are limited, now we are careful because we want only what we really need to live. We don’t want to clutter our space and our time with stuff that will require more picking up, cleaning, organizing, etc.
We want our girls to learn two important lessons from our stuff-purging experience. First, living simply is a great way to be good stewards of the world around us. It causes us to consider carefully what items we choose to admit back into our space, which might even include environmental or labor considerations (like no "made in china" stuff). Second, the most important things in life aren’t - things - but the people we are blessed to know. Our new goal is to spend our time enjoying each other and exploring the world together as a family.
The getting rid of “stuff” thing is kind of addictive. I have a feeling that our original clearing house is just a precursor to the next one. In fact, I think I’ll go start a “give away” bag right now!
September 7, 2009
"Altar-ing" my space...
After spending some time writing and relaxing in a local coffee shop today, part of my “mom” time before cleaning like the Tasmanian devil (well, the opposite of the TD), I picked up a book on decorating. The title said something like, “Altar Your Space”. Yes, as in make it an “Altar” (though I’m really needing to alt-ER my space). Anyway, the whole book was filled with these lovely spiritual thoughts about making your space sacred and feng shui, blah, blah, blah. It was beautiful, of course.
Often when I read these things, I feel frustrated because I can never quite keep my space as “altar” like or “Zen” as I would like. But today it occurred to me that there are no toys in any of these pictures. If there are, they are neatly tucked away somewhere in a single solitary room, presumably along with kids dressed in beautiful, clean, pressed organic clothing that matches their surroundings. I’ve yet to see a small townhouse organized in such a way so the little girls who live there can carry their box of treasures around and dump them on the floor (tiny dolls, tiny shoes, tiny everything) so they can play with or be near mom no matter what she’s doing (usually pumping or cleaning).
I guess my house would be totally different if I outlawed toys in the downstairs “altar-like” spaces. But I WANT to see my little girl play while I’m working on other things. I WANT to be able to stop what I’m doing and join her. As long as she’s little and playing here, I’ll do my best to keep things organized in their place (and I CAN do better at that) but for now, she’s free to roam around, dumping her little treasures at my feet so we can share them together. I think for now, that IS my altar. I feel so much better.
Often when I read these things, I feel frustrated because I can never quite keep my space as “altar” like or “Zen” as I would like. But today it occurred to me that there are no toys in any of these pictures. If there are, they are neatly tucked away somewhere in a single solitary room, presumably along with kids dressed in beautiful, clean, pressed organic clothing that matches their surroundings. I’ve yet to see a small townhouse organized in such a way so the little girls who live there can carry their box of treasures around and dump them on the floor (tiny dolls, tiny shoes, tiny everything) so they can play with or be near mom no matter what she’s doing (usually pumping or cleaning).
I guess my house would be totally different if I outlawed toys in the downstairs “altar-like” spaces. But I WANT to see my little girl play while I’m working on other things. I WANT to be able to stop what I’m doing and join her. As long as she’s little and playing here, I’ll do my best to keep things organized in their place (and I CAN do better at that) but for now, she’s free to roam around, dumping her little treasures at my feet so we can share them together. I think for now, that IS my altar. I feel so much better.
Not a domestic diva
August 2009
For those of you who are domestic divas, this one isn’t for you.
For all of you who struggle to keep the house picked up, dishes clean, floor swept…for those whose laundry ends up thrown on the couch, or the bed, or the only open chair in the room. For those of you who, coming or going, use the chair by the front door as a holding place for whatever you don’t need to take or whatever extras you brought home, this is for you.
I have a dirty secret. My house is dirty – a lot of the time. I hate to admit it because in my heart, I despise dirt. I’m actually a bit of a germaphobe. My husband accused me of being the next Howard Hughes and he didn’t mean the brilliant part. Well, he actually said Hugh Hefner – but I knew what he meant. I digress...
I’m not sure why I turned out this way. *Sigh* My family is very spatially organized. I like organization but the small size of my house and my slightly half hazard approach to housekeeping isn’t doing me any favors. It takes me forever to settle on an organizing system but once I get there, I’m pretty good at keeping it. If only I could finish the organizing!
However, I think I may have found my redemption. Recently, I stumbled across a website called www.flylady.net. She posts cleaning tips and even cleaning schedules online along with a good dose of encouragement for those of us who are less than domestic divas. I love her reminder that my house didn’t get this way overnight so I have to be patient as I learn to organize my space, my time and keep it that way. I’m really getting better at this thanks to her! If you really need help, you can even sign up for email updates or RSS feeds.
For those of you who are domestic divas, this one isn’t for you.
For all of you who struggle to keep the house picked up, dishes clean, floor swept…for those whose laundry ends up thrown on the couch, or the bed, or the only open chair in the room. For those of you who, coming or going, use the chair by the front door as a holding place for whatever you don’t need to take or whatever extras you brought home, this is for you.
I have a dirty secret. My house is dirty – a lot of the time. I hate to admit it because in my heart, I despise dirt. I’m actually a bit of a germaphobe. My husband accused me of being the next Howard Hughes and he didn’t mean the brilliant part. Well, he actually said Hugh Hefner – but I knew what he meant. I digress...
I’m not sure why I turned out this way. *Sigh* My family is very spatially organized. I like organization but the small size of my house and my slightly half hazard approach to housekeeping isn’t doing me any favors. It takes me forever to settle on an organizing system but once I get there, I’m pretty good at keeping it. If only I could finish the organizing!
However, I think I may have found my redemption. Recently, I stumbled across a website called www.flylady.net. She posts cleaning tips and even cleaning schedules online along with a good dose of encouragement for those of us who are less than domestic divas. I love her reminder that my house didn’t get this way overnight so I have to be patient as I learn to organize my space, my time and keep it that way. I’m really getting better at this thanks to her! If you really need help, you can even sign up for email updates or RSS feeds.
"Shine your sink" - courtesy of the Flylady
August 24, 2009
Today I woke up to a not-so-clean house. After a full weekend of being gone and not getting our regular “straightening” done, I had quite a mess to clean up! My DH, bless him, loaded and ran the dishwasher last night but there were already more dishes on the counter, toys on the floor (along with dirt), a messy dining room table and clothes strewn about the small downstairs space (frequent costume changes by my daughter).
When I wake up to a mess this large, my mind feels so cluttered I don’t know where to start – SO…I hop on Facebook to see what other people are doing. Of course, I’ve turned off the newsfeed of actual domestic divas who just annoy me by announcing they’ve got not only a clean house but also hold down a full time job, home school their kids and knit afghans for poor children in Africa while baking 6 dozen cookies. Like I really need to feel any worse about myself!! Usually when I choose this course of action, I either don’t get anything done or if I do accomplish much, I don’t spend much time enjoying my daughters.
But, recognizing my tendency to extreme avoidance when I feel overwhelmed by housework, I vowed not to spend my time on the internet or phone today. Instead, I channeled one of my favorite organizing/cleaning gurus, the Flylady. Her mantra is “shine your sink”. So, not knowing where to start, I emptied out my kitchen sink and shined it. It looked amazing so I did all the dishes. Feeling energized, I kept going.
This is the plan I followed:
1. Shine the sink
2. Finish cleaning the zone I started (kitchen/dining)
3. Pick up the floor, table and counters
4. Wipe the same
5. Sweep the floor
6. Clean the floor with home made cleaning solution and my deck brush (this is my super-duper cleaning tool) and wipe with a clean towel
7. STOP to eat and play with the kids.
I cleaned with a zealous vigor while my youngest took a nap and my oldest played with her toys and then watched a little educational TV (a great use of TV!). It took about two hours for me to do all this, mainly because I’m a little psychotic about my floors but it felt great to have a clean space to play and have lunch with my kids. I’m really proud of what I accomplished today.
Today I woke up to a not-so-clean house. After a full weekend of being gone and not getting our regular “straightening” done, I had quite a mess to clean up! My DH, bless him, loaded and ran the dishwasher last night but there were already more dishes on the counter, toys on the floor (along with dirt), a messy dining room table and clothes strewn about the small downstairs space (frequent costume changes by my daughter).
When I wake up to a mess this large, my mind feels so cluttered I don’t know where to start – SO…I hop on Facebook to see what other people are doing. Of course, I’ve turned off the newsfeed of actual domestic divas who just annoy me by announcing they’ve got not only a clean house but also hold down a full time job, home school their kids and knit afghans for poor children in Africa while baking 6 dozen cookies. Like I really need to feel any worse about myself!! Usually when I choose this course of action, I either don’t get anything done or if I do accomplish much, I don’t spend much time enjoying my daughters.
But, recognizing my tendency to extreme avoidance when I feel overwhelmed by housework, I vowed not to spend my time on the internet or phone today. Instead, I channeled one of my favorite organizing/cleaning gurus, the Flylady. Her mantra is “shine your sink”. So, not knowing where to start, I emptied out my kitchen sink and shined it. It looked amazing so I did all the dishes. Feeling energized, I kept going.
This is the plan I followed:
1. Shine the sink
2. Finish cleaning the zone I started (kitchen/dining)
3. Pick up the floor, table and counters
4. Wipe the same
5. Sweep the floor
6. Clean the floor with home made cleaning solution and my deck brush (this is my super-duper cleaning tool) and wipe with a clean towel
7. STOP to eat and play with the kids.
I cleaned with a zealous vigor while my youngest took a nap and my oldest played with her toys and then watched a little educational TV (a great use of TV!). It took about two hours for me to do all this, mainly because I’m a little psychotic about my floors but it felt great to have a clean space to play and have lunch with my kids. I’m really proud of what I accomplished today.
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