A while back, Taz Loomans at Blooming Rock Blog wrote a post about multi-family housing and how while it's taking off in some parts of the country, it's not viewed so highly here in Phoenix - yet. I've been thinking about it ever since. Robert and I have lived in a small multifamily housing community for about 10 years. While there are certainly pros and cons and I sometimes still want a single family house (mainly because I need the garden space), overall, we've loved it.
These are some of the benefits of a multi-family community.
1. It's cost effective. Our mortgage is within our budget and we share the cost of major repairs with our neighbors. We save money by buying less "stuff" because a smaller space requires efficient organization. And, in a compact space, we can afford high quality, green remodeling while staying within our budget.
2. Less work for us. We hire landscapers, plumbers, overall maintenance people - at a reasonable cost, also shared with neighbors. Perfect for artists like us - who work all week and perform on nights and weekends. There's not much of time left for yard work.
3. Less to clean. A larger house doesn't even appeal to me anymore - for this reason.
4. We can live in the heart of the city. Because we chose a townhouse, we can live in a neighborhood (that would otherwise be out of our budget) near everything we love - like hiking, work, church, urban culture, Grandma & Grandpa *smile*.
5. Affordability allows us to pursue our gifts and passions as careers. Living simply in a multi-family house means we can do what we love - for a living. We have fun all week, not just on the weekend. Don't get me wrong...we work our booties off and we live more simply...but it's worth it.
6. More fresh air. Small space - small children? Sanity requires me to get off my duff and get out of the house frequently - to visit local businesses, the library, the park, our garden at Grandma's house...
7. Community. We know our neighbors. And, they're amazing. From teachers to engineers, business professionals to a hard core biker-hairdresser, they are an eclectic mix - quirky, kind and always interesting!
This last point is the most important to me.
The people in our community are great people. Financial decisions regarding the functionality, appearance and value of our property are not the only things that tie us together. We know each other and are invested in each other's lives. It's typical for me to go out front to pick rosemary for dinner and find myself in a conversation with two or three neighbors. We look out for each other. If a neighbor goes to the hospital, people in our community often visit - depending on whether or not the person has family. Rides to the doctor, babysitting and cards to those who have suffered a loss (even a dog!) are the norm here.
Those of you who are into gaming will appreciate the roles played by members of our community. We are a little town unto ourselves. We have the grumpy old man, the healer, the gatekeeper (nobody gets by him!), the resident drunk (position currently open), and the crazy lady who hollars at her kids across the yard (that would be me, oops). There is something refreshing and powerful about discovering it's possible for such different people to live together peacefully.
These past ten years, we've learned important lessons about acceptance (read: love, not tolerance) and community that we might not have learned if we'd been able to drive straight into a garage every night. Our home choice has forced us to recognize our connection to each other and to be more careful of the relationships we need to build and maintain with the people who share our larger space. And our lessons give us a picture of how we should be living in our larger community in Phoenix, in Arizona, the USA, the rest of the world. Our individual choices, financial and social, don't just change our lives, they change the world for those around us too.
My relationships with my neighbors change me in unexpected ways. They have opened my eyes to seeing the world in ways I might have otherwise missed. And, while our financial fates initially tied us together, we have found true friendships here. As I write this, I'm filled with gratefulness for these neighbors who have become my friends. They have shown us love and kindness, compassion and wisdom in the times we've most needed it. If we ever do move, we'll stay in the heart of the city where we can keep learning and keep building these relationships that make us better people. It's something Robert and I believe in and it is what we want our children to learn about our city and the world.
We're doing more than just sharing space. We're creating community.
May 10, 2011
May 9, 2011
Wake Up! It's Monday Already...
Ok, friends. It's Monday. Don't shoot the messenger. Hopefully these will help you wake in time to drive home from work.
Considering my complete OBSESSION with grapefruit, it's no wonder I'd be interested in these. They look delicious and also gluten free for those of you who need such recipes. http://www.beyondtheplate.net/recipes/sweets/zest-bakery-gluten-free-grapefruit-bars/
Looking at beautiful art is a great way to perk up your mind on a Monday. Some friends and I had the pleasure of meeting this local artist over the weekend. He has a wonderful presence and his spirit shines through his work. Hugo Medina
As much as I've made fun of Gibson's new talking beaver puppet movie (because let's be honest, there's so much to laugh at in that description -- where does one start?), these comments by his co-star are rather incredible. We should each have a friend like this! A true friend.
If my first post reminded you that you forgot to eat breakfast and you're looking for something a little healthier, check out this delicious, fresh option! If you can't make it, you can always just coast over to Barrio and let them make it for you. Fresh Guacamole - Silvana Style
Can't get her voice out of my head. Incredible!
Considering my complete OBSESSION with grapefruit, it's no wonder I'd be interested in these. They look delicious and also gluten free for those of you who need such recipes. http://www.beyondtheplate.net/recipes/sweets/zest-bakery-gluten-free-grapefruit-bars/
Looking at beautiful art is a great way to perk up your mind on a Monday. Some friends and I had the pleasure of meeting this local artist over the weekend. He has a wonderful presence and his spirit shines through his work. Hugo Medina
As much as I've made fun of Gibson's new talking beaver puppet movie (because let's be honest, there's so much to laugh at in that description -- where does one start?), these comments by his co-star are rather incredible. We should each have a friend like this! A true friend.
If my first post reminded you that you forgot to eat breakfast and you're looking for something a little healthier, check out this delicious, fresh option! If you can't make it, you can always just coast over to Barrio and let them make it for you. Fresh Guacamole - Silvana Style
Can't get her voice out of my head. Incredible!
May 7, 2011
Mother's Day: Celebrating the Imperfect Mom
This year, like every year, I think a lot about motherhood with regard to my mom and the kind of mom I want to be. So many of my ideas of motherhood and being a woman come from the woman who gave birth to me and spent her life loving me and doing her best to raise me according to her conscience.
But, let me tell you, my mom was so not the perfect mother. As I was growing up, she was often bossy and temperamental. It was her way or the highway and frequently she was unable to see life from the other person's point of view. She also tended to call me at the most ridiculous hours of the morning - before my alarm clock rang. Grrrrr...!! Talk about annoying! Then, there were the times she really let me down when I thought I needed her most.
In short, my mom was not perfect! 'Cause, you know, no mother is. There is no "Complete Guide to Perfect Mothering" that we can follow. Not only do I make many of the same mistakes my mom made, I have a whole set of my own that I'm sure my girls will call up someday when they're sitting in their therapist's office, wondering at the miracle that they made it through childhood with me as a mother. I definitely find myself losing my cool much too frequently - but it's hard not to when you find that your two year old has taken off her poopy diaper (AGAIN!) and is running around without one. Ugh. Sorry for the visual but it's just where I am right now.
On the flip side, my mom also spent her whole life learning how to love me and my sisters and really, everyone who crossed her path.
She became an expert on me and every one of my four sisters. And, like it or not, she was right a majority of the time. No wonder she felt she could give us unsolicited advice 24 hours a day! She constantly told my sisters and I that she loved us completely and that we could do anything we determined to do. She and my dad loved each other and stayed together for over thirty years. Mom was a true friend - the kind you can call in the middle of the night and know she'd answer and come.
To contribute to the household income, mom worked more than full time as a music teacher. Teaching wasn't just her job, it was her passion. She loved her students and as she did with us, strove to teach them character and commitment along with musicality. When she did anything, she threw herself into it completely. She believed that a life of service to others was a life well-lived.
Her life was definitely well lived. Mistakes and all, she was a person of good intentions and she exceeded the mark more often than not. Her life often gives me food for thought as I travel my own path through life. And, as an adult and a mom myself, I love and appreciate her more and more each day.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to tell my mom "Happy Mother's Day!" face to face this year because she died of cancer 5 years ago. While I believe we don't just end after death and that she can still see and hear me, there are really no words to describe the ache that her physical absence creates in my heart. I thought my mom would be around a lot longer, both to love me and to drive me crazy when she became an old lady.
But this post isn't something I'm writing so you'll feel sorry for me. Nope. So - don't. I had a full life of memories with my mom. But, I do wish that I had appreciated her more when she was still here. I wish I'd made more time for her. I wish I'd been more understanding about what she'd sacrificed for us and how she loved us. She was just like me - doing her best to love and care for her family and live a meaningful life of service.
This weekend I hope, if you haven't already, you'll see your mom with new eyes. Because while some have mothers who don't deserve respect or honor, most moms are just human and need our love and friendship. This weekend, put yourself in your mom's shoes. Don't just see her as your mom. See her as a woman, a young lover, a young mom trying to figure out how to balance life and parenthood. See her in her career and as a friend.
Start to realize your mom is pretty stinkin' awesome. Then, remind yourself that with everything else she does, she's your mom. Love her for it and learn to be her friend. Don't just celebrate her on Sunday but cherish every moment you have with her. Realizing she won't always be there might just give you a new ability to love her just as she is.
By the way, I won't be alone this weekend. Along with my sweet little girls and handsome love, I'll be celebrating the good friend and amazing grandparent I am blessed to have in my mother-in-law. There will be a lot of laughter and fun as all the kids race around screaming joyfully. And somewhere in the chaos, I'll find a quiet moment to whisper a Happy Mother's Day to someone who I know is still listening.
Today I linked with A Wise Woman Builds her House
But, let me tell you, my mom was so not the perfect mother. As I was growing up, she was often bossy and temperamental. It was her way or the highway and frequently she was unable to see life from the other person's point of view. She also tended to call me at the most ridiculous hours of the morning - before my alarm clock rang. Grrrrr...!! Talk about annoying! Then, there were the times she really let me down when I thought I needed her most.
In short, my mom was not perfect! 'Cause, you know, no mother is. There is no "Complete Guide to Perfect Mothering" that we can follow. Not only do I make many of the same mistakes my mom made, I have a whole set of my own that I'm sure my girls will call up someday when they're sitting in their therapist's office, wondering at the miracle that they made it through childhood with me as a mother. I definitely find myself losing my cool much too frequently - but it's hard not to when you find that your two year old has taken off her poopy diaper (AGAIN!) and is running around without one. Ugh. Sorry for the visual but it's just where I am right now.
On the flip side, my mom also spent her whole life learning how to love me and my sisters and really, everyone who crossed her path.
She became an expert on me and every one of my four sisters. And, like it or not, she was right a majority of the time. No wonder she felt she could give us unsolicited advice 24 hours a day! She constantly told my sisters and I that she loved us completely and that we could do anything we determined to do. She and my dad loved each other and stayed together for over thirty years. Mom was a true friend - the kind you can call in the middle of the night and know she'd answer and come.
To contribute to the household income, mom worked more than full time as a music teacher. Teaching wasn't just her job, it was her passion. She loved her students and as she did with us, strove to teach them character and commitment along with musicality. When she did anything, she threw herself into it completely. She believed that a life of service to others was a life well-lived.
Her life was definitely well lived. Mistakes and all, she was a person of good intentions and she exceeded the mark more often than not. Her life often gives me food for thought as I travel my own path through life. And, as an adult and a mom myself, I love and appreciate her more and more each day.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to tell my mom "Happy Mother's Day!" face to face this year because she died of cancer 5 years ago. While I believe we don't just end after death and that she can still see and hear me, there are really no words to describe the ache that her physical absence creates in my heart. I thought my mom would be around a lot longer, both to love me and to drive me crazy when she became an old lady.
But this post isn't something I'm writing so you'll feel sorry for me. Nope. So - don't. I had a full life of memories with my mom. But, I do wish that I had appreciated her more when she was still here. I wish I'd made more time for her. I wish I'd been more understanding about what she'd sacrificed for us and how she loved us. She was just like me - doing her best to love and care for her family and live a meaningful life of service.
This weekend I hope, if you haven't already, you'll see your mom with new eyes. Because while some have mothers who don't deserve respect or honor, most moms are just human and need our love and friendship. This weekend, put yourself in your mom's shoes. Don't just see her as your mom. See her as a woman, a young lover, a young mom trying to figure out how to balance life and parenthood. See her in her career and as a friend.
Start to realize your mom is pretty stinkin' awesome. Then, remind yourself that with everything else she does, she's your mom. Love her for it and learn to be her friend. Don't just celebrate her on Sunday but cherish every moment you have with her. Realizing she won't always be there might just give you a new ability to love her just as she is.
By the way, I won't be alone this weekend. Along with my sweet little girls and handsome love, I'll be celebrating the good friend and amazing grandparent I am blessed to have in my mother-in-law. There will be a lot of laughter and fun as all the kids race around screaming joyfully. And somewhere in the chaos, I'll find a quiet moment to whisper a Happy Mother's Day to someone who I know is still listening.
Today I linked with A Wise Woman Builds her House
May 4, 2011
Hey Sexy, Leave the Gloves ON...
So, you thought this was going to be a post about sex, huh? You should know me well enough by now to know I don't kiss and tell! But, don't be too disappointed yet. The habits I'm suggesting might just help you in that department - if in a roundabout way. Haha!!
This IS kind of a dirty post about something I think everyone should be doing - outdoors. And it's actually about sticking your hands - in the dirt - and trying to pull forth food or beauty. I have a few reasons for feeling this way. Here they are.
Gardening will relax you and bring life into perspective.
If there's one thing I've learned from parenting preschoolers, it's that they behave best when they spend lots of time out of doors daily. Not only does this get them away from the TV and produce a happier playing experience, they eat whatever I serve without complaint ('cause, as my oldest claims, they're "starving") and they sleep restfully.
Guess what? This goes for adults too! There is something magical about sticking bare toes in the dirt and taking deep breaths of that fresh outdoor scent as you gently tuck dirt around a new plant or pull weeds so another can grow. Suddenly, whatever is stressing you out won't seem so bad. When you come inside, you'll feel relaxed, re-focused and tired in the best way. If you have such a brown thumb that you kill everything you touch, just get a shovel and dig in the dirt like a kid. If you listen hard, you just might hear a plant calling your name and promising to grow for you.
Gardening can save you money and reduce garbage waste if you do it right. Veggie scraps from kitchen cuttings, dead leaves and branches, egg shells and banana peels make free compost/natural fertilizer and minimize garbage waste. All that yucky decaying matter turns into rich, fertile soil capable of creating the best veggies you've ever tasted. When you find success at gardening - even if it's just one crop - you can save the money you would have spent on buying that product in the store. And, you can produce it organically! My grandmother and other moms I know will affirm they wouldn't have been able to feed their families nearly so healthily without gardening.
Gardening will allow you to eat organically on a budget and help your kids to like strong food. Growing your own food will allow you to avoid all those nasty chemicals on conventionally grown foods without breaking the bank. And, I can guarantee your kid will be a lot more interested in eating her vegetables if she grew them herself!
Gardening will help YOU love real food! Instead of produce that wasn't picked ripe, was transported in cold (almost frozen) storage and therefore lacks the flavor it's supposed to have, you'll eat the tastiest version of whatever you grow!. No wonder it's so hard to love veggies when we're eating tomatoes that taste flat and flavorless or strawberries that don't smell sweet or strawberry-ish! Eating fresh stuff from your own garden will turn you into a true foodie.
Gardening will bring your family together over the dinner table. Although you can make a very quick meal from the garden, it's one that will require a little chopping and thought. Enjoy a refreshing drink and conversation with your lover or kids while you're chopping away! You'll be surprised at the conversations you've been missing.
Gardening can help you get into shape. Fresh air, aerobic exercise and real food is a recipe for a strong body! Unhealthy processed foods lose their appeal once you've tasted real food flavored with fresh herbs.
And the point we've all been waiting for...Gardening just might get you some. Ever heard the phrase, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" That goes both ways, baby! Who doesn't think a strong and relaxed urban farmer with a slightly sweaty, rosy glow is sexy? What man doesn't think the aroma of good food is the best perfume? Duh.
To your newly fresh, confident demeanor, add the sensually delicious aroma of a fresh tomato and basil salad straight from the garden and you may find you've found an irresistible aphrodisiac!
Here's to love and gardening!
This IS kind of a dirty post about something I think everyone should be doing - outdoors. And it's actually about sticking your hands - in the dirt - and trying to pull forth food or beauty. I have a few reasons for feeling this way. Here they are.
Gardening will relax you and bring life into perspective.
If there's one thing I've learned from parenting preschoolers, it's that they behave best when they spend lots of time out of doors daily. Not only does this get them away from the TV and produce a happier playing experience, they eat whatever I serve without complaint ('cause, as my oldest claims, they're "starving") and they sleep restfully.
Guess what? This goes for adults too! There is something magical about sticking bare toes in the dirt and taking deep breaths of that fresh outdoor scent as you gently tuck dirt around a new plant or pull weeds so another can grow. Suddenly, whatever is stressing you out won't seem so bad. When you come inside, you'll feel relaxed, re-focused and tired in the best way. If you have such a brown thumb that you kill everything you touch, just get a shovel and dig in the dirt like a kid. If you listen hard, you just might hear a plant calling your name and promising to grow for you.
Gardening can save you money and reduce garbage waste if you do it right. Veggie scraps from kitchen cuttings, dead leaves and branches, egg shells and banana peels make free compost/natural fertilizer and minimize garbage waste. All that yucky decaying matter turns into rich, fertile soil capable of creating the best veggies you've ever tasted. When you find success at gardening - even if it's just one crop - you can save the money you would have spent on buying that product in the store. And, you can produce it organically! My grandmother and other moms I know will affirm they wouldn't have been able to feed their families nearly so healthily without gardening.
Gardening will allow you to eat organically on a budget and help your kids to like strong food. Growing your own food will allow you to avoid all those nasty chemicals on conventionally grown foods without breaking the bank. And, I can guarantee your kid will be a lot more interested in eating her vegetables if she grew them herself!
Gardening will help YOU love real food! Instead of produce that wasn't picked ripe, was transported in cold (almost frozen) storage and therefore lacks the flavor it's supposed to have, you'll eat the tastiest version of whatever you grow!. No wonder it's so hard to love veggies when we're eating tomatoes that taste flat and flavorless or strawberries that don't smell sweet or strawberry-ish! Eating fresh stuff from your own garden will turn you into a true foodie.
Gardening will bring your family together over the dinner table. Although you can make a very quick meal from the garden, it's one that will require a little chopping and thought. Enjoy a refreshing drink and conversation with your lover or kids while you're chopping away! You'll be surprised at the conversations you've been missing.
Gardening can help you get into shape. Fresh air, aerobic exercise and real food is a recipe for a strong body! Unhealthy processed foods lose their appeal once you've tasted real food flavored with fresh herbs.
And the point we've all been waiting for...Gardening just might get you some. Ever heard the phrase, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" That goes both ways, baby! Who doesn't think a strong and relaxed urban farmer with a slightly sweaty, rosy glow is sexy? What man doesn't think the aroma of good food is the best perfume? Duh.
To your newly fresh, confident demeanor, add the sensually delicious aroma of a fresh tomato and basil salad straight from the garden and you may find you've found an irresistible aphrodisiac!
Here's to love and gardening!
May 2, 2011
Wake Up! It's Monday Already...
A great combination of beauty and laughter for today.
Wouldn't this be an incredible site to see on the road? Beautiful
A funny Canadian girl's take on the British Royalty. So, like, do we have a queen?
Ok, ya'all...I'm no hater. I love me some Paula Deen. But this is - well, Wow. Be sure you turn it up enough to hear the music.
Gorgeous images by Frank Serafini. Be sure to check out his portfolio and blog which are links on this page. He captures life in a beautiful way.
My daughter loves this song. I can't think of a better song for her, and for you, to hear today. Believe it!!
Wouldn't this be an incredible site to see on the road? Beautiful
A funny Canadian girl's take on the British Royalty. So, like, do we have a queen?
Ok, ya'all...I'm no hater. I love me some Paula Deen. But this is - well, Wow. Be sure you turn it up enough to hear the music.
Gorgeous images by Frank Serafini. Be sure to check out his portfolio and blog which are links on this page. He captures life in a beautiful way.
My daughter loves this song. I can't think of a better song for her, and for you, to hear today. Believe it!!
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